
"My blue-eyed Sarah, warm Joanne, sweet Jenny, loving Susan, crazy Amy wait for me. I'll hurry, wait for me. Wait."
-"Someone Is Waiting," Company
Away messages, taken to the next level

The trip would be all expenses paid, including a night’s stay at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in
Now I will tell you a tale of a far off, magical land called
I left my apartment building at 6am. I decided to treat myself and take a taxi to the
I met a student journalist from UPenn at the airport. I found him on Facebook and gave him my phone number prior to our departure. The publicist who set up this trip let me know about him, because the cab from LAX to the hotel would be about $40, and so it would be great if he and I could split the fare. He was a really nice guy and we hit it off right away.
Arriving in LA was amazing. It was sunny, warm, and beautiful. The ride to the hotel was gorgeous, and it was so refreshing to see all those palm trees. When do I ever see those?
I walked in my hotel room at the Beverly Hilton Hotel and was floored. It was one of the nicest hotel rooms I had ever seen. The bathroom was stunning. Gorgeous mirror, with an inlayed mirror. Flat screen TV by the sink. The bed was huge and fluffy and cloud-like. There was an enormous flat-screen TV in the bedroom. And I had a terrace with a great view of
I was permitted room service up to $125, so I got started on that right away. I ordered two lunches. I had a chicken quesadilla (the circumference of a small tire) and a cheeseburger. Room service wheeled it in on a table and I ate in glutinous glory while watching the enormous flat-screen TV.
Then, it was off to the two movie screenings. THE NAMESAKE was shown in a screening room on the Fox lot! The actual Fox back lot! It was so cool to be there. The movie was pretty good; about a C+.
The screening of 300 was at a local AMC. The theater, which probably seated 700 or 800 people, was completely filled. There was not one vacant seat. The movie was pretty good too. I’d say a B-. Both films were very enjoyable, but nothing moving. Certainly no DEPARTED.
Back at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, I watched people set up for Clive Davis’s pre-Grammy party, which was to be held the following night. That’s right – Clive Davis’s pre-Grammy party was held in my hotel. I wandered into the room where the Golden Globes are held (even though I wasn’t supposed to). I got down on my knees and said a little prayer to the celebrity gods, and made my humble way out. Then, I found the pool. It was gorgeous. It was still pretty temperate outside, so I decided to eat dinner out by the pool where the hotel restaurant had outdoor seating. Two other college journalists who were there decided to join me, and we had a seriously relaxing, tranquil dinner by the pool, with fancy heaters above us.
The next morning, I got up bright and early for the 300 interviews, which took place in my hotel. The director was first – he was awesome. Then walked in the film’s villain, played by Rodrigo Santoro. To my surprise, he was not the overdressed journalist that I mistook him for, just twenty minutes prior in the lobby of the hotel. In fact, he plays Laura Linney’s love interest in LOVE ACTUALLY. But I found out what else he’s been in, and it was quite surprising, since almost everyone has seen it, but probably doesn’t know he was in. He was in that Chanel No.5 commercial with Nicole Kidman! I couldn’t believe it. The next interview was, of course, the musician of the night himself, Mr. Gerard Butler. Well, I can’t tell you how freakin’ cool he is in person. I want to hang out with this dude. He is so enthusiastic, so funny, and so cool. He was hilarious, made us all laugh, and was just awesome.
The interview for THE NAMESAKE was at another hotel. Kal Penn, aka. Kumar, was really nice and very friendly. He walked in with a huge, warm smile on his face and said, “Hey guys! I have to pee.” He gave a good interview and was very entertaining.
It was 1pm at this time, and my flight didn’t leave until 11pm. I’ll be damned if I was going to sit in that stupid airport all day and miss out on LA! So I got together with that guy that I had just met from UPenn. He called a high school friend of his that goes to UCLA and he came in his car and assumed the role of our tour guide. He asked us, “Where do you guys want to go?” Since neither of us had ever been to the West coast before, I said, “Show us LA, mac.” But I didn’t actually say, “mac.”
He took us to
We got hungry, and our guide took us to exactly the place that I had hoped we would go: In n’ Out Burger. In every celebrity interview I’ve ever read, if there was a question like, “What is your favorite thing in the world?” the answer was always, “In n’ Out Burger.” It was delicious, and now that I’ve eaten there, I think I can join all those celebrities in saying it’s my favorite thing in the world.
Then we went to
Then, we went to the center of
We concluded our comprehensive tour with a visit to the largest record store I have ever seen, and then our guide was kind enough to drive us to the airport. I was not in the mood for the flight, as I was dead-tired, had little legroom, and had a screaming baby behind me. I put on my iPod, cranked it up, and prepared myself for the five hour flight.
Well, guess what. I fell asleep before the plane even took off and I woke up 20 minutes before we landed. I bypassed the entire flight! And I never even heard Screaming Baby! It is definitely the way to fly.
That was my sojourn to
